How to love yourself! – Self-care tips.

by Apr 21, 2021

How to love yourself!

I think most people have got the message by now that loving oneself is essential for health and wellbeing. But how to love yourself?We have heard the analogy of placing the emergency oxygen mask on ourselves before the child so that we can help them.

However, when we are caught up in the hustle-bustle of daily life, it can be so common to put our own needs last on the list or feel guilt that putting ourselves first some of the time is selfish. That leads us to become more and more depleted emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually.

It is important to remember that even though we make mistakes and are often imperfect in our own eyes, we can be our own worst critics. Making mistakes and errors is part of life and is best dealt with gently (as we would with someone else) and with a sense of humour if possible.

Just setting aside a short time each day to lavish care and love upon our bodies and spirits can really make a difference in how we cope with stress and adversity.

I have a  bullet journal list that I use as my reference to help me find a solution to more negative mind states. I also try to set aside one day a week as a “Me” day where I make sure I have a number of hours to do something that feeds my soul and banks nourishment in my being to keep me topped up with good feelings.

When you are feeling down:

  • Make a herbal tea and read an uplifting book.
  • Sing along to your favourite music tracks.
  • Take some time to pamper yourself with a face mask and paint your nails.
  • Write a letter to yourself a year from now.
  • Cleanse some crystals and place them on your body as you rest.
  • Get a new hairstyle.
  • Go to the cinema and watch something uplifting.
  • Do something to help someone else.
  • Make a Golden Milk drink as a natural anti-depressant.
  • Write a gratitude list.
  • Journal or Art journal about what is getting you down.
  • Watch a motivating TED talk.
  • Remember to not take things personally and keep perspective. See The Four Agreements.

When you are feeling exhausted:

  • Make a delicious green smoothie to energise you.
  • Massage your feet with some aromatherapy oils.
  • Give yourself or receive some Reiki/ Healing.
  • Take a nap. I give you permission, no guilt required!!
  • Do some gentle movement exercise to get your energy flowing again. eg the energy routine.
  • Make a list of the people, places, habits that are draining you and consider leaving them behind!
  • Have a device detox and unplug from social media etc.
  • Say “No” in a kind way to requests that are too much for you.
  • Ask for help from family / friends in a specific way so that they know what can help you and when. See my post on asking others for help for tips. 

When you are feeling irritable / frustrated:

  • Go for a stroll.
  • Drink a big glass of water.
  • Treat yourself to a few squares of dark chocolate to boost your Magnesium levels.
  • Take some photos outside in nature.
  • Visit somewhere new that you haven’t been to before for a new outlook.
  • Go to the theatre or a music concert.
  • Drive somewhere high up to watch the sunset.
  • Go out to a cafe for breakfast and read a quality magazine.
  • Have a facial at a beauty salon.
  • Breathe more deeply and have some quiet alone time.
  • Allow yourself to really feel your feelings so that they can move and evolve. Don’t repress them as they can get trapped in your energy field which can lead to further imbalances.

When you are feeling stressed:

  • Create an art journal page.
  • Have a swim and a sauna.
  • Play with clay.
  • Cuddle a pet or even a teddy if you aren’t receiving any human hugs.
  • Find a new guided meditation to follow along with.
  • Plan a trip away.
  • Enjoy a great yoga class.
  • Take up knitting.
  • Walk barefoot on the grass.
  • Write a Brain dump list.
  • Forgive yourself and others.
  • Declutter and clean one cupboard.
  • Join an online support group on facebook or similar.

When you are feeling lonely:

  • Meet up with a friend in a cafe.
  • Invite a friend around to watch a funny film together.
  • Bake a cake and take it to someone to enjoy together.
  • Go camping for a night to meet new friends.
  • Join an online class to learn something new and make new connections.
  • Listen to an audiobook wrapped up in a blanket with hot chocolate.
  • Say “I love you” every time you look in the mirror.
  • Connect with Source energy to remember you are never alone and you are always supported and loved.

When you are feeling sad:

  • Find a dance class or put on your favourite music and dance at home to lift up your energy.
  • Swim in the sea, a lake or a river.
  • Get up early and watch the sunrise.
  • Book an energy clearing eg Emotion Code 
  • Burn some uplifting aromatherapy oils.
  • Watch some old comedy that really makes you laugh.
  • Go to an art exhibition.
  • Learn a poem or try to write a song.
  • Buy yourself some pretty flowers.
  • Be around trees.
  • Use some vibrational essences eg Bach flower remedies to help shift your sadness.
  • Do some chanting and/or vocal toning to raise vibration.
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In essence: How to love yourself?


Take some time for yourself and allow stresses and strains to fall away. Life is too short to be spending most of it wound up and overwhelmed. You deserve time for yourself. You need alone time, some people need a lot of alone time. As they say, “You can’t pour from an empty cup”. Why you would be pouring from a cup and not a teapot or jug, I don’t know, but you get the meaning!

“Well ordered self-love is right and natural.”    Thomas Aquinas

I have found, as someone with Chronic conditions, that I am often frustrated that I am not managing to get on and do what I want to do. That, in turn, means that I find it really difficult to allow myself to rest and take a nap. I always want to be doing stuff and because I feel that I have missed out so much on doing what I wanted to do, I don’t want to “waste” a single second of the rest of my life.

Resting is not wasting time however and often more can be achieved post power nap than would have been done otherwise. So ditch the guilt about the housework or the garden or the long “to do” list and take some nurturing time just for you. And have a think about how to love yourself even more! You deserve it!

Schedule some self-care.

Today: Schedule some self-care. Find at least 15 mins in the day where you can choose a self-loving activity and try to stay aware of how it affects your mood.


Also: pick a day to be your “Me day” where you go some where new or take a yoga class or whatever feels the most nourishing to you. Scheduling it in your planner, diary or phone will ensure that you don’t put yourself at the bottom of the list again.


Share: Please comment below, what are your favourite self-care practices and what difference does it make to you when you make time for them? I would love some new tips!!